Asshole Oracle: Misery Magnet

The card appears when you’re seeking hope for the future and reassurance that things will get better.

Which is actually pretty fucking funny, because the truth is that you are a magnet for misery.

Whether it’s withering away at a soul-sucking job day after day, settling for a loveless relationship that makes your skin crawl, or just a constant state of emptiness and sorrow, your life sucks!

Sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles…well, who are you kidding? All of your cookies are always fucking crumbling because ::jazz hands:: misery magnet! 

Affirmation:

I live my life in a constant state of despair.

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