Asshole Oracle: Past Life Depression

As if this life wasn’t bad enough, now you wanna tap into past lives, too?

Jesus H. Christ, talk about a glutton for punishment. Well you go on and do you! If you think you’re gonna stumble upon some holy, mind blowing nugget of information from “the good ole days” that’s gonna be a catalyst for amazing transformation, you’re dead wrong, dumbass!

There are no “good ole days!” Not for you! Not now! Not then! Not ever! And I mean that literally!

You just keep hopping from one miserable meat sack to another, and the only common thread tying all those past lives together? ::spooky, mystical voice:: Depression and unfulfillment!

Affirmation:

I never learn from past mistakes, and my misery is eternal.

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