Of Passions & Purpose
A couple of weeks ago, I had one of those moments in life. The kind where, as you’re experiencing it, a part of you knows it’s a #bigdeal and something that you will look back on again and again and be like, “That was the moment when…x, y, z.” It was almost like an outer body experience, if I’m being honest.
On the shore of my oceanic bae, the Pacific Ocean in good ole California, I led nine incredible women in a full moon circle.
As I recently started doing my own moon rituals, I suggested to a friend of mine that, while in San Diego to run a work event, we should do an evening beach trip for our own little moon ritual. A day later, the topic of conversation came up again with another friend, and from there it quickly snowballed into a group thing.
A group thing that kind of scared the shit out of me.
On the one hand, I was EPICLY STOKED at the opportunity to do something that had been a long standing heart’s desire of mine – to connect with others on a deep level through leading some sort of soulful, spiritual experience.
On the other hand, I was freaking out at the prospect of organizing this gathering and then being the ::terrified gasp:: leader and “center of attention.” That’s something I’ve actively hid from for the longest time.
It’s like a paradox – having a deep desire to be seen and heard, but also being downright terrified of being seen and heard. lol oh to be human!
Luckily, in this case, I didn’t have much time to dwell on it and spin out with my fear. I sat down with my soul journal and just started drafting an agenda for a simple, focused moon circle. (And yes, I really did create an agenda, because I’m Type A and that’s literally part of my DNA and a huuuge part of my day job skillz, okay? 😉
I’ll admit I was pretty anxious for a majority of the day leading up to the moon circle, but the closer we got, the more excited I grew. And then we were meeting up on the beach and walking toward the ocean. We formed a circle and…
It was like a lightswitch flipped and I was suddenly operating as my higher self as I led the women into an energy cleansing and grounding practice to start us out.
That ^^ was the moment that I mentioned at the start of this post.
It was so strange to be fully present in that moment, but still, somewhere in my subconscious, part of me was like, “Holy fucccck, this is the thing you’ve wanted to do for so long and you were so afraid of, but look at how NATURAL it is for you!!” With a side of, “Who are you?!” ::insert side eye emoji::
The moon circle experience was truly incredible. It’s a night I’ll always remember, and I’m so grateful that I was able to share it with a group of heart-centered, passionate women who made me feel safe, even when being seen and heard ::dun dun dun::
It really amped up my confidence, as I’ve always been one to suffer from imposter syndrome. Something can be on my heart for all of eternity, and there can be synchronicities and signs dropping in all over the place, but my fear will always win out as I wonder, “Who am I to (insert thing I want to do)??”
It was also such validation that I am 100% on the right path. My own spiritual journey, everything that has led me here, the desires of my heart, all of my interests and lessons learned, and now here with The Sacred Channel – this is all meant to be and has been divinely orchestrated. There’s not a doubt in my mind.
So if there’s something that’s been niggling at you, something that your heart is so desperately craving, even if it’s just a small curiosity to maybe, I dunno, take a pottery class, or visit a new town – do it.
The things that call to us do so for a reason. They are meant for us, and it would be such a shame to miss out on them. <3
P.S. Shoutout to my soul sister Britt for refusing to co-host the moon circle with me to force me to step into my power and do it myself. Endless apologies for my initial EW face and being mad – your higher was just giving my higher a lil slap up the side of the head to werrrk my magic 😉 I love you and appreciate you, B!
P.P.S. For those of you who enjoy full circle moments, Britt is the person I emailed nearly three years ago confessing that I felt so called to connect with others through soul coaching or spiritual work but was struggling hardcore with “who am I to…” So it’s even more awesome that she not only gave me that little push, but was there to witness the moment 😉