On Friendship

It’s been over a decade since I started to dabble in the realm of personal growth, and within the past few years I’ve really leveled up my commitment to my own journey of self-discovery. The concept of relationships and deep connection has been on my radar more and more, and I’ve realized not only the importance of connection and our relationship with others, but also how it can spawn revelations when it comes to personal growth and self-identity.

Over the years, like everyone, I’ve experienced an ebb and flow with my friendships. Very few of my current friends are people I knew before college, and I’ve shed three of my longest tenured (think at least 10 years) and/or deepest friendships over the past few years alone. Losing those friendships was really painful, but it also made me realize how important it is to let go of relationships that no longer serve you, especially if they’re toxic.

Each of us deserves to be treated with love and respect, and if that isn’t something that you are receiving in your relationships, then it’s time to let them go. It’s also important to realize that sometimes you just outgrow people. I know for me, once I opened myself to authenticity and personal integrity and really took inventory of my personal values and beliefs, it was extremely difficult for me to settle for friendships that were unbalanced or shallow.

Looking past the pain of those lost friendships, I realized that the connections that I still maintain are bonds that truly light me up. I have quality friends. I am surrounded by people who genuinely love me and care about me and my life. They want what’s best for me. They encourage me to chase my dreams and explore my potential. They support me in good times and bad, and they love me for me. Really, at the end of the day, that is all any of us want, right?

The awesome–and unexpected–result of shedding toxic relationships is that it made me really invest in my relationship with myself. I began to realize that I deserve better. I deserve to receive the same quality of love and support that I so freely offer to others. Self-love has been a big theme for me the past couple of years, and it’s helped me not only cultivate a deeper appreciation and love for myself, but it’s also ushered so many amazing people into my life.

Once I overcame my fear of letting go of a few toxic relationships, I received an influx of new and beautiful people in my life. These amazing earth angels share so many of the struggles and aspirations that I experience, and it has allowed us to bond quickly and on a much deeper level than I was used to. Bonds like that, particularly ones that accompany hardcore soul-searching, force you to be better and shine brighter.

I now feel more aligned and authentic to who I am than I’ve ever felt in my life. I know that I am here to shine my light and give others permission to do the same. That revelation and the feeling that goes along with it would never be possible if it wasn’t for the amazing, beautiful, soulbffs who are part of my life. <3

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Of Passions & Purpose

This is my current soul journal. I usually have one for a year <3

A couple of weeks ago, I had one of those moments in life. The kind where, as you’re experiencing it, a part of you knows it’s a #bigdeal and something that you will look back on again and again and be like, “That was the moment when…x, y, z.” It was almost like an outer body experience, if I’m being honest.

On the shore of my oceanic bae, the Pacific Ocean in good ole California, I led nine incredible women in a full moon circle.

As I recently started doing my own moon rituals, I suggested to a friend of mine that, while in San Diego to run a work event, we should do an evening beach trip for our own little moon ritual. A day later, the topic of conversation came up again with another friend, and from there it quickly snowballed into a group thing.

A group thing that kind of scared the shit out of me.

On the one hand, I was EPICLY STOKED at the opportunity to do something that had been a long standing heart’s desire of mine – to connect with others on a deep level through leading some sort of soulful, spiritual experience.

On the other hand, I was freaking out at the prospect of organizing this gathering and then being the ::terrified gasp:: leader and “center of attention.” That’s something I’ve actively hid from for the longest time.

It’s like a paradox – having a deep desire to be seen and heard, but also being downright terrified of being seen and heard. lol oh to be human!

Luckily, in this case, I didn’t have much time to dwell on it and spin out with my fear. I sat down with my soul journal and just started drafting an agenda for a simple, focused moon circle. (And yes, I really did create an agenda, because I’m Type A and that’s literally part of my DNA and a huuuge part of my day job skillz, okay? 😉

I’ll admit I was pretty anxious for a majority of the day leading up to the moon circle, but the closer we got, the more excited I grew. And then we were meeting up on the beach and walking toward the ocean. We formed a circle and…

It was like a lightswitch flipped and I was suddenly operating as my higher self as I led the women into an energy cleansing and grounding practice to start us out.

That ^^ was the moment that I mentioned at the start of this post.

It was so strange to be fully present in that moment, but still, somewhere in my subconscious, part of me was like, “Holy fucccck, this is the thing you’ve wanted to do for so long and you were so afraid of, but look at how NATURAL it is for you!!” With a side of, “Who are you?!” ::insert side eye emoji::

The moon circle experience was truly incredible. It’s a night I’ll always remember, and I’m so grateful that I was able to share it with a group of heart-centered, passionate women who made me feel safe, even when being seen and heard ::dun dun dun::

It really amped up my confidence, as I’ve always been one to suffer from imposter syndrome. Something can be on my heart for all of eternity, and there can be synchronicities and signs dropping in all over the place, but my fear will always win out as I wonder, “Who am I to (insert thing I want to do)??”

It was also such validation that I am 100% on the right path. My own spiritual journey, everything that has led me here, the desires of my heart, all of my interests and lessons learned, and now here with The Sacred Channel – this is all meant to be and has been divinely orchestrated. There’s not a doubt in my mind.

So if there’s something that’s been niggling at you, something that your heart is so desperately craving, even if it’s just a small curiosity to maybe, I dunno, take a pottery class, or visit a new town – do it.

The things that call to us do so for a reason. They are meant for us, and it would be such a shame to miss out on them. <3

P.S. Shoutout to my soul sister Britt for refusing to co-host the moon circle with me to force me to step into my power and do it myself. Endless apologies for my initial EW face and being mad – your higher was just giving my higher a lil slap up the side of the head to werrrk my magic 😉 I love you and appreciate you, B!

P.P.S. For those of you who enjoy full circle moments, Britt is the person I emailed nearly three years ago confessing that I felt so called to connect with others through soul coaching or spiritual work but was struggling hardcore with “who am I to…” So it’s even more awesome that she not only gave me that little push, but was there to witness the moment 😉

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